Things About Being A Parent With A Special Needs Child

I have devised a list of things about being a parent with a special needs child that I wish that everyone knew and understood.

# 1 Please don’t judge me!

The hardest part of being a parent is being judged by another parent who thinks they are better than you or are doing a better job than you.

Yes, that is my son kicking and screaming on the ground! Yes, that is my son sitting at McDonald’s eating weet-bix! Yes, that is my son jumping on the jumping castle wearing shoes! Yes, that is my son covering his ears and crying at the park!

Every child is different and reacts differently to different things. Please just understand that I am trying my best and things that may seem odd to you may be normal for us.

#2 Sometimes I need to vent!

Another hard part about being a parent of a child with special needs is the fact that most of the time you put on a brave face and act like everything is OK. Even when it’s not.

Sometimes, you just need that 30 mins to unload everything off your chest and out of your mind! Even if it is uncontrollable crying babble. Without criticism. Without guilt. Without Judgement.

Parents with special needs children have a lot to deal with and it is hard at times.

#3 I have needs too!

Whether it is taking a nap, having a shower without company or being screamed at, even just having a laugh with a friend or enjoying a nice meal out. These needs are all important in maintaining emotional and physical well being.

I often feel guilty for having these needs. These needs are sometimes just everyday necessities of life that I shouldn’t have to think about but I do. I feel like I get judged for having a time out or a child free day here or there. But the most important thing here is with having all these needs and putting myself first for some time out doesn’t mean that I ever stop loving my child or stop thinking of his needs. I am blessed to be a parent of a child with special needs.



Looking after yourself will, in turn, help your child because you will be strong when they need you to be strong! Do you have anything else that you wish that other people knew about being a parent of a special needs child?

 

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9 Comments

  1. Excellent post! So many people are so judgemental nowadays.
    With this website I hope that it changes at least one persons mind on how they judge from the outside. Parenting is hard enough as it is. I have seen my cousins raise their children and the hardships they have faced.
    I hope this site will be used to not only help you but other parents/family/friends as well. Journeys are always better when traveled with others.

    • Hey there

      Yes and some people don’t realise that this hurts! Even if they are unintentionally staring!

      The aim of my website is to basically promote awareness of what families go through and try and change some attitudes within communities. I am also trying to help and support those people on similar journeys.

      Thanks so much for visiting my site! Be sure to come back regularly and check out what is new with us!
      Regards
      Hailey

  2. I know it can seem like the number of people you have to explain things to is endless but once somebody actually realises that a child who’s having a meltdown might not actually be badly behaved but they likely have real struggles and everything has gotten too much for them in that moment, then every other Mum they see in that position, will hopefully get a more considered response from them and hopefully even some kindness. Keep up the good work, vent when you need to and keep raising awareness x

    • Hey Kate

      Thanks for your comment!

      I totally agree! The looks that I get sometimes makes me so angry. I always think that if they understood what is going on and why my son is reacting the way he is then they wouldn’t be looking at us the way they do!

      My aim is to share our experiences in an effort to help others and like you said to raise awareness to many people that have little experience with having a child with special needs. If I can change one persons perspective and save one parent from feeling humiliated, then I have done my job!

      Thanks again for stopping by!

      Regards Hailey 

  3. I know it can seem like the number of people you have to explain things to is endless but once somebody actually realises that a child who’s having a meltdown might not actually be badly behaved but they likely have real struggles and everything has gotten too much for them in that moment, then every other Mum they see in that position, will hopefully get a more considered response from them and hopefully even some kindness. Keep up the good work, vent when you need to and keep raising awareness x

  4. I think it is so great that you are baring it all and opening up to the world about your family. I think this article is very informative and helpful to folks who don’t have special needs children. Sometimes we need to just mind our own beeswax. But I do think the shoes should come off in the bouncy house. Bouncy houses are very strict and will no longer allow me access because of age and weight discrimination.

    • Hey Nik

      Thanks for your comment!

      Yes I believe the only way to teach people about anything is to be open and honest and share experiences with others!

      Not many people understand how their reactions can affect others!

      Great analogy!

      Regards

      Hailey

  5. Hiya, Hailey.

    One of the cruellest things that can happen when you have children with special needs is to be judged by professionals who think they know better but don’t.

    I came across a so-called professional who it later turned out was completely inexperienced at dealing with children with special needs – she was trained to work with adults and it caused a few problems that took time to rectify.

    Brilliant niche idea – this could help a few people as the number of autistic children rises so thank you. Add me to your subscriber mailing list, please.

    Andre

    • Hey Andre

      Thanks for the comment!

      Yes, its not only professionals unfortunately!

      I have had a few therapists in the past work with my son, straight out of university! Yes they had a lot of knowledge but lacked the skills needed to interact with my son. I found they would run out of ideas because the book they were reading from was not relevant for us!

      Thanks so much for your support! I have just added a subscribe button to my website! I will be sure to add you to my list!

      regards
      Hailey

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